No is a Complete Sentence.
You are allowed to say no.
Far too many women don’t realize just how many “routine” procedures in labor are presented as mandatory, but are actually optional. Hospitals often present interventions in a way that feels urgent or unquestionable, even when the situation is stable.
This blog breaks down common procedures you’re allowed to decline, the language that’s often used to pressure you, and how to respond with confidence and clarity.
⚠️ Routine ≠ Required
Hospitals and providers are often trained to manage birth, not trust it. That means many procedures are done “just in case,” “because it’s policy,” or “to speed things along” not because they’re medically necessary in that moment.
But here’s the reality:
You are not required to do anything simply because it’s hospital policy.
You have the legal and ethical right to informed consent and refusal. That means you must be fully informed, and allowed to decline, any intervention, test, or procedure.
📝 Common Procedures You Can Say No To
Here are some of the most frequently misunderstood or misrepresented interventions during labor and delivery:
1. Cervical Checks
These are often done during triage, labor, and before pushing, but they are not mandatory.
🔹 You can decline them completely or ask for fewer.
🔹 They carry a small risk of infection and may be emotionally triggering.
You can say:
“I’d like to skip cervical checks unless medically necessary.”
2. Continuous Fetal Monitoring (EFM)
This is often required upon arrival and used throughout labor. But for low-risk pregnancies, intermittent monitoring is just as safe.
🔹 Continuous monitoring can limit movement and increase the chance of further interventions.
🔹 You can request intermittent Doppler checks instead.
You can say:
“I prefer intermittent monitoring unless there’s a clear concern.”
3. IVs and Saline Locks
Some hospitals automatically insert an IV or saline lock “just in case.”
🔹 While helpful in emergencies, they’re not required for all labors.
🔹 Some women prefer to labor without feeling tethered.
You can say:
“I’d like to wait and only have an IV if it becomes necessary.”
4. Artificial Rupture of Membranes (Breaking Your Water)
Providers may suggest this to “speed things up.”
🔹 But it can increase the risk of infection and limit your options.
🔹 Once your water is broken, a clock often starts ticking for delivery.
You can say:
“I’d rather wait for my water to break naturally unless there's a medical reason not to.”
5. Episiotomy
This is a surgical cut to widen the vaginal opening during delivery.
🔹 Once common, it is now discouraged by most professional guidelines.
🔹 Natural tearing typically heals better than a surgical cut.
You can say:
“I do not consent to an episiotomy. Please support spontaneous tearing if needed.”
6. Pushing on Your Back
Many hospitals default to this position for convenience, but it’s not best for most women.
🔹 Upright, side-lying, squatting, or hands-and-knees can all help shorten pushing and reduce tearing.
You can say:
“I will choose my own pushing position unless there’s a medical reason to change.”
🧠 Why It Feels So Hard to Say No
Most women aren’t used to saying no to medical professionals, especially during vulnerable moments like labor. You might feel:
Worried about being seen as “difficult”
Afraid something bad will happen if you don’t follow orders
Caught off guard by the speed or urgency of the moment
That’s why preparing now is key. Know what’s optional, learn the lingo hospitals use, and practice saying no ahead of time.
🎭 Language Hospitals Use to Pressure Compliance
Hospitals rarely say “you must.” Instead, they use softer language that still pushes the same message. Watch out for phrases like:
“We’re just going to…”
“Let’s go ahead and…”
“It’s time to…”
“This is what we do.”
“You don’t want something bad to happen, right?”
These phrases are subtle, but they assume consent. You can interrupt them and bring the conversation back to your decision.
💬 Scripts You Can Use
Here are phrases that help you reclaim the conversation:
“Can you explain the risks and benefits?”
“Are there any alternatives?”
“I understand your recommendation, but I’m not comfortable with that.”
“I’m making a different choice.”
“I do not consent.”
You don’t need to justify your decision. A simple “no” is enough.
🤝 Your Partner and Doula Can Help
Sometimes you won’t be in a position to speak up for yourself. That’s where your birth team comes in. Make sure your partner, doula, or support person knows:
Your birth preferences
What interventions you want to avoid
That they are empowered to speak on your behalf
They can say things like:
“She doesn’t consent to that,” or “We’d like more time to discuss before deciding.”
👣 Final Thoughts
You don’t have to earn the right to say no, you already have it. Birth is not a series of instructions to follow. It’s your experience, your body, your voice.
Knowing what’s optional, and feeling confident enough to decline, can transform your birth from something that happened to you into something you led.
Trust your instincts. Ask questions. Say no when you need to. That’s not being difficult—it’s advocating for what matters to you.
